I was traveling again today, and since I got such good feedback from my last travel post ( but no comments...:-) = shameless request for comments ), I figured I'd keep it up.
My outbound flight was an early one, 6:18AM, so right off the bat that sucked. The plane was an Airbus A321 (of French manufacture) and I was excited when I entered as it looked like it was very new featuring leather seats, digital video systems and usb/power connections at each seat. My excitment turned to dread when I arrived at my row/seat. Of course, by the time we got through the precious metal/gem seating, there was no overhead space, so I had to put my bag under the seat in front of me. Usually this isn't such a big deal, not so in this case. Whoever designed this torture chamber (of course it was the French, who are also famous for the guillotine) put the seats so close together that there was precious little space. And the toe space was further compromised by a metal box, probably the brains of that fancy digital screen. My bag, which usually fits fine underseat was sticking out another few precious inches. Then when airborne, I attempted to use my (mini) laptop, I had to do body origami just to get my hands on the keys. Then, just when i figured out how to contort myself to make it work, the wonderful gentleman in front of me reclined his seat, sapping what little space I had to work with. I finally gave up. I beg of you AA, please don't get any more of these planes.
The return flight was a very different experience. While this was clearly an older plane, it was a tried and true Boeing 737. It was low on the tech and had older shabby looking fabric on the seats, but had worlds more space and legroom. Not to mention I scored a sliver of overhead space so my feet and bag were not vying for room. I like window seats and that's what I had. A gentleman was also seated on the aisle. It appeared that boarding was over and we would be extra blessed with an empty middle seat, when onto the plane came running a disheveled young lady who had clearly only just made the flight. She was wearing a heavy leather jacket, scarf, and hat, despite the balmy weather, and she plopped down in previously vacant middle seat. Before she buckled in, she removed the jacket, hat, and scarf, stuffing them under the seat in front of her. Under all that she had wild hair and was wearing a tank top, which wasn't all that remarkable, till she reached up to open the air vent. Whoa...clearly in her haste to make the plane, she neglected a step and missed deodorant. Or perhaps her hurried pace had taken its toll. Not only that, but she also had some halitosis issues going on. It smelled like she had eaten a crap sandwich for lunch, covered in crap, with a side of crap, and washed it down with a double shot of crap. And she was sleeping open mouth beside me. I don't now if I've ever gone so long without breathing through my nose.
We all know travel comes with its challenges. I've shared mine, do you all have any? Put them in the comments.
Maybe she too was French :). We got stuck in front of two fat drunk Belgium guys on our flight to Brussels. That was a fun flight while they drank and fumbled around behind us pushing the seat and kicking it. Not to mention getting up every 20 minutes to go to the lavatory and using the head rest as a pullup bar. Luckily after about 6 hrs they passed out and just snored the rest of the flight. Oh the fun of air travel.
ReplyDeleteMy worst travel experience was on a ferry to Culebra from the mainland in Puerto Rico. It was an early morning ride following a long night of flights and driving through San Juan, where apparently traffic lights are only suggestions. The motion of the ocean got the best of me and I experienced sea sickness for the first time. The girl sitting next to me was leaning as far away as physically possible to the point it was comical. I was dreading the return trip a few days later but it was thankfully uneventful.
ReplyDeleteI got a full glass of wine spilled on my by an arrogantly polite English woman while flying to London to the point that it was all over my bag and me. She looked at me and was turned away. I must have looked sooo pleased.
ReplyDeleteAlso word to the wise, traveling with the Italians makes me want to stab my ear drums. They never shut up. EVER.
But probably the worst was actually on a train, any train, in Italy that goes from touristy city to touristy city riding first class. It is full of Americans who are of a certain class that could be considered having affluenza.
Yours are giving me some great laughs over here in New Hampshire!
ReplyDeleteLet's pray for good flights this Thursday to Orlando with great return on April 13th. I have never flown with my fiancés parents nor my younger sister, a senior in high school. We are talking vast age differences but the complaints could be similiar if anything were to go wrong .
The halitosis experience Mark...that sounds horrible and I can relate But also have met some incredible people from all over the country on business/personal endeavors.
My one questionable encounter with a man who I am now friends with on Facebook had the longest nails I had ever seen! I'm not sure what's worse to wonder if he had those nails for other tools or just purely not a guy who stayed on top of his grooming ... Super nice guy either way!
***You are (autocorrect )
DeleteTraveling to Boston from San Francisco.
ReplyDeleteI originally booked the 9 pm flight not knowing how long my meeting would be. Being a frequent flyer for US "scare ways" I take advantage of some of the benefits when the time is right. Specifically referring to the no charge same day flight changes. Well, that time had come. Instead of flying home on the red eye, I opted to change my flight seeing my meeting was adjourned much earlier than expected. Stand by was the only way to go if I wanted a chance on making it home before midnight. My name was called and score!! So I thought.
Being one of the last people boarding the plane and not needing any overhead space (day trip), it didn't matter where I sat as long as I got home earlier.
Being a 6'3" burly guy and a modest 250lbs, I prefer the window so I am not stuck in the middle bothering both folks on my left and right and, the isle is problematic seeing my shoulders are broad.
Anyway, as I proceeded down the isle to seat 22 A I thought SCORE, once again. Once I arrived to isle 22, there sat the two passengers who already seated. One man, one woman who both starred me down as if I was the anti Christ! I have a decent sense of character so i asked "what the issue?", the man sittin g on the isle stood up and came into the isle to allow the woman to do the same and allow for me to seat. You could tell he was the shy type as he wouldnt make eye contact meanwhile, the woman turned to me and said "SO, youre the lucky 22A eh?" I proceeded to ask her, ok I can take a hint but whats with the ntable mention? she said, Sir, the person sitting in that seat that just got off the plane, got sick all over the place...
I thought, SHIT! I cannot do this for the next 6 hours, I best leave now and take the later flight.... No sooner did I turn to face the front of the lane to deboard, the announcement came over the PA saying, the flight dfoors have been closed and all passengers need to be seated prior to take off due to AA regulation yada yada... Oh NO, now I am stuck with whatever I am to encounter next.. The flight attendant asked me to sit again and i proceeded to ask him "why the hell would you sell a seat knowingly that someone got sick in it just 20 minutes ago"!! He replied with " I cleaned it myself, its all set, now, take your seat! I was not convinced it was cleaned to my standards, after all, its me having to sit there, not him. I asked him for news paper and lots of it. I lined the floor, seat and arm rests as I could not risk getting sick myself. This was going to be a long flight.
I didn't dare touch the floor as I wasn't sure what remained but I knew it was wet because my shoe soles were squeaking. I thought I'd rest my backpack on my lap hoping the flight attendant wouldn't notice. As luck was having it, I heard "his" voice tell me "SIR, please place your bag under the seat in front of you. We cannot take off until you do".
With 300 + passengers waiting to take off and staring, I proceeded. I thought that once I heard the thrusts of the jet engines, I would reach down and get my bag before the newspaper turned into paper-mache moistened puke. As the landing gear tucked in and, without thinking, I grabbed the bag and set it on my lap. After 20 minutes, my legs felt wet. As you may have guessed, it was wet with whatever residual cleaning agent and or puke that left behind from the stellar cleaning job by Giuseppe' the flight attendant. As we reached 30,000 feet the air became warmer which reactivated the odor of what could have been a bloody Mary.. I turned the light on to grab my headphones and looked down at my wet pants which were in fact covered in bloody Mary mix. And the smell, OMG, I almost lost it. My poor neighbors were gagging and I swear the attendant was giggling when he walked by.
Until that day, I looked forward to the Mr T's bloody mix and a shot of Vodka to wash it down. Needless to say, Bloodys are no longer my drink of choice.