The Great Outdoors...I'll Pass Thanks

"Let's go camping Dad!"

Few other phrases make me cringe quite as much. I just don't get it. Why do people want to go camping? Didn't we evolve and develop our society to move forward from our primitive hunter-gatherer roots? I just fail to see the appeal.

Now let's be clear, I'm not talking about the rolling luxury suites that are larger than most urban apartments and far more comfortable. I'm talking about 'real' camping: Sleeping on the ground, in a tent, with a sleeping bag, and cooking over a fire. If your camping adventure includes a mattress, a kitchen, indoor plumbing, wall to wall carpeting, and most of all air conditioning, that isn't really camping and certainly not what my wife and kids have in mind. No, their definition involves becoming one with the mosquitoes, eating charred hot dogs covered in the floating ash of kindling, and the togetherness that can only come from cramming 4 rectangular bodies into a hexagonal tent. They seem to think that the fun lies in learning the intricate contours of the earth with my vertebrae, or hiking 200 yards to use a campground bathroom, a hike that seems far longer in the cold morning light for a shower of cold to tepid water under a trellis of spider webs.

To add insult to injury, our sad little tent is usually surrounded by RVs and we are forced to try to find slumber amongst the whir of their A/C compressors kicking on and off all night long. Not that anyone is sleeping anyway, since the tent turns into a sauna once the zipper is closed, only to find that the sauna has mystically turned into a cold damp cave come morning and everything inside is wet.

So next time the kids ask to go camping, I'll just pretend I can't here them over the TV and A/C while I lay on my comfy bed.

Don't Call it a Comeback...

So, my fans (AKA immediate family) have been asking me, 'Why haven't you written a blog entry lately'? Maybe the world has achieved a level, and there's nothing more to write about? Or perhaps its just been outright laziness. My vote is the latter. So here I am trying to re-kindle the spark and to get back to writing meaningless posts read by a handful of people...and there was much rejoicing.

While we are on the topic of laziness and do-overs, let's talk about Hollywood's love of remakes. If I have to hear about another remake of the Wizard of Oz, Robin Hood, or Godzilla I'll go batty. Does the world really need to see another version of Annie? How many times do we have to see Peter Parker get bit by a Spider, or Superman landing on Earth? Whatever happened to coming up with a new story line?

However, as with any good rant, there are exceptions. The latest series of the Planet of the Apes movies are excellent, although technically these are prequels, so I'll give them a pass. At any rate, it would blissful to see a new and totally creative story line come out of Hollywood, rather the current flow of rehashed versions of the same ones.

And hopefully this spark will catch fire and I will return to quietly ranting to the few.

Fresh Travel Tales

Been traveling a bit lately and usually that results in some interesting stories and observations:

Exit Row Not All It's Cracked Up To Be:

Sometimes you think you have it all figured out. I booked a cross country flight and when I looked at the seat map I screeched with glee when I saw that I could choose a window seat on the exit row. It's a well known fact that the exit row has additional leg room, so I was very pleased with myself. Upon boarding I was indeed blessed with lots of leg room, but it was not without its penalties. Firstly,  the seat did not recline, so I was missing out on those extra 5 degrees of recline angle comfort. No sleep for me, so I thought I would get some work done. Only the table was so far away, it was really bouncy,  every key stroke shaking the computer.

Other consequences of this seat choice had nothing to do with the seat but with my neighbors. At one point, I felt a bump on my elbow. I looked down and saw the sole of a huge Nike,  the giant behind me was not satisfied with his extra leg room and felt the need to wedge his foot between the side of the plane and my seat. Also, whenever Goliath got up to use the restroom, he used the back of my seat as a handle/springboard.

Things were no better in front of me. The restless sole seated there kept bouncing on the back of his seat, which made my already shaky tray flail around with every motion.

And if all that wasn't enough, the couple sitting next to me took the cake. At the beginning of the flight, they were working together on a crossword. Nothing wrong with that, except they routinely celebrated their puzzle prowess by kissing, often. What made this that much more awkward was that they were of a later generation,  like in their 70s. It didn't stop there, for the beverage  service the lady of the pair who was seated next to me got an instant decaf coffee. I don't drink coffee and don't know what was in the stuff she drank but it created the most foul coffee breath I ever encountered. She did pop a mint or two, but they were powerless against the stench.  And when she and her beau tired of crosswords (and kissing) in favor of a nap, she fell asleep with the look of a corpse, mouth wide open, the smell of coffee glazed trash freely blowing forth. "Luckily", the couple both woke up and went back to their gaming/PDA. It was a long flight.

The return flight had a similar woe. I paid extra for an even more space (jet blue speak for more leg room), since it was a red eye. Well that backfired. While I had tons of leg room, I was again cursed with a non reclining seat. Sleep was a challenge.

Stuck in the Middle:

I like window seats. I like to look out the window, and it cuts my interaction with other passengers by 50%, I like those odds. Usually I am successful in getting the window, but on my latest flight, not so much, I was singing the middle seat blues. On one side, a long haired hippy type with a bulky military jacket. Fortunately, he was quiet and read Harry Potter the whole flight, but I had to relinquish the arm rest. On the other side, things were very different. The man who sat next to me seemed reasonable, but when he sat down, he sat with a 'wide stance', legs splayed out so his leg was against mine. His legs were so far apart, it was pushing the armrest up. Awkward...Then, he began humming. I don't know the tune, but it was audible and constant. I was tempted to ask what song was in his head, but decided to pop in my earbuds and avoid the confrontation. While I tried to tune out the humming, I noticed midway through the flight, he was on his smartphone. No big deal, I was watching a movie on mine at the time. However, I noticed he was texting, in flight. We all know that when flying you are supposed to put your phone in airplane mode...AIRPLANE mode. Get it. I don't know what effect our phones have the planes or its systems, but the FAA has decided we shouldn't do it. Do I believe the plane will fall out of the sky if the Mad Hummer texts in flight? No, but why does he feel entitled to make that decision on the part of everyone on the plane, just to send a few texts?

Fido on Flight?:

It started small, little pets, in a carrier, under the seat. Then I started to see working dogs in the airports and on the planes. But it seems to have gotten out of hand. People just walking around the airport with their dogs? And not just little ones, I've seen larger dogs that are more than would ever fit under the seat. When did this become OK? I realize we are all attached to our pets, but in the end, these are animals and as such are unpredictable. They can bite, scratch, soil, or any other possible things that animals do. And what if one of the other travelers are allergic? Why should the rest of the plane be subject to an individual's pet in tight quarters?

Runway torch bearers:
On a recent flight, the plane came in early and we were parked waiting for the gate to open up. I was watching the pushing back process. Lots of us have seen it, a little buggy attached at the front wheels shoves the plane away from the gate. Ever notice the two 'attendants' that go along with this process? Two people in bright colored vests holding up an equally bright piece of plastic. What is the point of this? Are they worried some will run into the plane? Is someone going to miss the giant airplane on the tarmac but somehow notice these two?

Automated fixture roulette:
Almost every time I get off a plane, I visit the restroom. Mostly because airplane bathrooms are nasty and I avoid them whenever possible. Have you ever noticed the game of a chance that occurs in every bathroom? It seems that at best only half of the automated soap dispensers, faucets, toilets, paper towel dispensers, and hand dryers work, and I always choose the faulty ones first.

The Big Push:
Rented a car lately. Boy do they put the screws to you. Pre-buy gas you'll never (and can't possibly) use...never mind that the only way to get the full use of this is to run tank dry. BUY INSURANCE!!! No, I carry auto insurance and my credit card picks up some insurance too. Who pays an extra 20 bucks a day for this? And what's with all the taxes? My rental price practically doubled by the time the taxes were figured in. Just include it in the quoted price!

I know this was a long one...now it's your turn, let's hear some of your travel stories.

Protecting the Edge

I'm one of those people that does not believe in a naked smartphone. A case and a screen protector are a must. These days a phone costs more than a computer or a car payment and the idea of leaving it exposed to the harsh world is unthinkable to me. When I received my new Edge +, I had no case or protector, so it sat in the box for for a couple of days till those arrived. Oh, the anticipation. But clothing the Edge+ proved to be harder than expected, so I'm sharing my experience.

When my accoutrements finally showed up, I went straight to the task of installing them. First the screen protector. I went for a tempered glass model, since those feel the best, but there were few choices for the edge screen. Also strange, they mostly had a colored finish around the sides. So I found a cool green one (the Edge+'s little brother comes in a gorgeous emerald green color, that I was hoping this protector would emulate, it didn't). The install went well, bubble free and matched up with home key and speaker. But when I powered on the phone, it had a weird dot pattern in the glass. My new beautiful quad HD display marred with a grid of dots, what the heck? Then I put on the case, a minimal clear plastic model. I guess not minimal enough, because when I snapped it on, the edges of the screen protector cracked. Yikes. Luckily I had bought 2, so I put the second one on, but the case kept pushing the sides up.  Clearly this combo was not going to work.

Combo #1:

   

On to the second try...after a bit of research, I tracked down a screen protector that declared it was 'case friendly'. Perfect, except it was plastic. It got good reviews on amazon so I decided to try it. The install process was...interesting.  It was a 'wet' install, basically you spray the phone and protector with some kind of magic liquid that allows for adjustment, then squeegee out all the excess liquid. I did the initial install and it looked pretty good, but there appeared to be a hair under it, so I pulled it up and wiped it down, repeated the process, hair still there. After a third and fourth try, not only was it still there, but now I had two...I was able to clean off the new one but the old one was still there. I completed  the install, hair and all. Overall the protector was surprisingly good for a plastic one and unbelievably,  the 'hair' disappeared. The billing of self healing was true! I complained to the company about the install anyway and they sent me a replacement shield. Good customer service. And it truly was case friendly working well with the second case, an even more minimal plastic case.

Combo #2

  

So I'm good now, right? Not quite. Being the glutton for punishment that I am, I was determined to find a tempered glass protector, so I ordered one off eBay that was all clear, no color border, and the pic on the listing revealed no dots. But...when it arrived, there were the dots. Didn't even put it on, just complained to the seller and they refunded my money. Next...

Image from Ebay listing: (looks clear to me)                 

Actual glass:

I decided to try another plastic model, since I had the best success with that to date. I found a well recommended one that came in a pack of 6 for $1.99, pretty low risk, so I went for it. Good thing they were so cheap, cause it took 3 attempts to get a clean install. But once I did, I was pretty pleased with it. These cheapies were a great deal and what I'm using now, along with an aluminum bumper case. But, the edges are starting to come up a bit, so I'll probably have to replace it soon.

Combo #3:

 

I still haven't given up on glass and have another option on deck, waiting for a rainy day that I feel bold enough to try it.

Till then, the Edge is protected, but it was not easy. Maybe there is something to be said for going naked.

This Year's Techno Harvest Moon Comes Early

For those of you that follow this blog (shout out Mom and Dad) you may have noticed I've been slack and haven't posted in a while. I hope to get back into a rhythm now that summer is drawing to an end (It's not over yet, dammit!).

The harvest moon I reference in the title hardens back to an old post where I talked about my semi-annual ritual of renewing my tech and replacing my phone. Alas, while my all too short time with the Nexus 6 was mostly good, the gremlins started to creep out with random freeze ups, poor battery life and not playing nice with the Bluetooth system in the car, so it had to go.

So began the search for its replacement. At the same time I started looking, leaked images of the new Samsung Galaxy Note 7 began to appear, in all its curved screen sexiness. While it looked very tempting, I knew I couldn't swing the price tag it would command when it was finally released. So, I settled for last year's model, the Galaxy S6 Edge Plus (for less than half the price). With its 5.7" curved screen it was just a tad smaller than the Nexus while being faster, more compact, lighter and giving better battery life.

So far, just over a month in, I really like it. The rich interface has lots more features that I like, the screen is super bright and crisp, and I dig the curved edges with the special people edge and edge apps drawer. The only downside so far is that people complain that I don't always sound so good while talking over the speakerphone, and it seems more prone to dropping calls than the Nexus (I'll have to keep an eye on that).

Judging by the recent headlines about exploding Galaxy Note 7s, I think I made the right choice, at least until the next Harvest Moon begins to wax.

Summer is not over!

It happened not once, twice, but three times over the last weekend, I encountered somebody who said, "Summer's almost over". It should be noted, that at the time I was given this breaking news, it was still JULY, so I am unsure why these folks want to burst the bubble that is summertime. Isn't summer short enough that we don't need to mentally fast forward to the end when we are only at the half way point? Especially in the Northeast, where I reside, and summer is the precious pair of months that we are freed of the constraints of outerwear to bear our pasty skin to the elements. We all know that our near future will be filled with fleece and Gore-Tex, you don't need to remind us.

Part of the issue could be the fact that kids, mine included, seem to return back to school earlier than I did as a child. "Back in my day" :-) Labor Day was the last day of summer, the next day, the first day of school. Now, kids go back to school, a week before Labor Day, even earlier in some locales. This effect gets even more pronounced as the stores begin rolling out back to school ads and promotions in store starting in late July. It's a relentless reminder that summer days are fleeting.

So please, let's all resolve not to dwell on the end of summer, but to enjoy the remainder of the season while the days are still long and warm.

Get ready to sit back and enjoy the ride

Ever wish you had a personal chauffeur? Maybe you've been sitting in traffic and wished that someone else were at the wheel and you could relax and watch YouTube videos? Well, the dream may be closer than ever before.

At this time, most auto manufacturers offer sophisticated driver aids, whether it be intelligent cruise control, lane keep assist, or the like. We got our early taste of this a few years back when Lexus ran an ad on TV where their car parked itself without any input from the driver. This technology has only advanced from there. In fact, many experts believe that the levels of autonomy in current cars could get to the point where they literally drive themselves. This is already available in some models from Mercedes Benz, BMW, and Tesla, to name a few where the car takes charge and the driver can take their hands off the wheel. It's truly amazing.

The other aspect of this trend of development that certain experts have focused on are the inevitable impacts that self driving cars will have on our society and economy. The feeling is that the trend in cars will shift away from individual ownership and towards more of an on demand model, ala Uber (sans the driver). If we have a bunch of cars out there driving themsleves, networked together, then theoretically there should be few to no accidents, no moving violations, and consequently, no casualties.This would definitely change the whole auto insurance industry. And if all cars are on demand with no drivers, that pretty much eliminates taxis (or at least the taxi drivers). Of course in this scheme, since people would not end up owning their own cars, the auto industry would end up selling fewer cars, and mostly to these ride on demand services.

All this makes me curious. While I find all these developments to be interesting, I can't help but wonder why all these car companies are jumping over each other to develop these technologies, essentially engineering the demise of their industry?

And what is to be for those select few of us who actually enjoy driving? Will there be a place on the road for human operated vehicles? How will all these autonomous vehicles react to cars that are operated on instinct rather than algorithms?

Only time will tell if these technologies will truly have these profound impacts on our world, at least in the short term. In the meantime, we should all try to enjoy the ride, from behind the wheel, while we still can.