Fresh Travel Tales

Been traveling a bit lately and usually that results in some interesting stories and observations:

Exit Row Not All It's Cracked Up To Be:

Sometimes you think you have it all figured out. I booked a cross country flight and when I looked at the seat map I screeched with glee when I saw that I could choose a window seat on the exit row. It's a well known fact that the exit row has additional leg room, so I was very pleased with myself. Upon boarding I was indeed blessed with lots of leg room, but it was not without its penalties. Firstly,  the seat did not recline, so I was missing out on those extra 5 degrees of recline angle comfort. No sleep for me, so I thought I would get some work done. Only the table was so far away, it was really bouncy,  every key stroke shaking the computer.

Other consequences of this seat choice had nothing to do with the seat but with my neighbors. At one point, I felt a bump on my elbow. I looked down and saw the sole of a huge Nike,  the giant behind me was not satisfied with his extra leg room and felt the need to wedge his foot between the side of the plane and my seat. Also, whenever Goliath got up to use the restroom, he used the back of my seat as a handle/springboard.

Things were no better in front of me. The restless sole seated there kept bouncing on the back of his seat, which made my already shaky tray flail around with every motion.

And if all that wasn't enough, the couple sitting next to me took the cake. At the beginning of the flight, they were working together on a crossword. Nothing wrong with that, except they routinely celebrated their puzzle prowess by kissing, often. What made this that much more awkward was that they were of a later generation,  like in their 70s. It didn't stop there, for the beverage  service the lady of the pair who was seated next to me got an instant decaf coffee. I don't drink coffee and don't know what was in the stuff she drank but it created the most foul coffee breath I ever encountered. She did pop a mint or two, but they were powerless against the stench.  And when she and her beau tired of crosswords (and kissing) in favor of a nap, she fell asleep with the look of a corpse, mouth wide open, the smell of coffee glazed trash freely blowing forth. "Luckily", the couple both woke up and went back to their gaming/PDA. It was a long flight.

The return flight had a similar woe. I paid extra for an even more space (jet blue speak for more leg room), since it was a red eye. Well that backfired. While I had tons of leg room, I was again cursed with a non reclining seat. Sleep was a challenge.

Stuck in the Middle:

I like window seats. I like to look out the window, and it cuts my interaction with other passengers by 50%, I like those odds. Usually I am successful in getting the window, but on my latest flight, not so much, I was singing the middle seat blues. On one side, a long haired hippy type with a bulky military jacket. Fortunately, he was quiet and read Harry Potter the whole flight, but I had to relinquish the arm rest. On the other side, things were very different. The man who sat next to me seemed reasonable, but when he sat down, he sat with a 'wide stance', legs splayed out so his leg was against mine. His legs were so far apart, it was pushing the armrest up. Awkward...Then, he began humming. I don't know the tune, but it was audible and constant. I was tempted to ask what song was in his head, but decided to pop in my earbuds and avoid the confrontation. While I tried to tune out the humming, I noticed midway through the flight, he was on his smartphone. No big deal, I was watching a movie on mine at the time. However, I noticed he was texting, in flight. We all know that when flying you are supposed to put your phone in airplane mode...AIRPLANE mode. Get it. I don't know what effect our phones have the planes or its systems, but the FAA has decided we shouldn't do it. Do I believe the plane will fall out of the sky if the Mad Hummer texts in flight? No, but why does he feel entitled to make that decision on the part of everyone on the plane, just to send a few texts?

Fido on Flight?:

It started small, little pets, in a carrier, under the seat. Then I started to see working dogs in the airports and on the planes. But it seems to have gotten out of hand. People just walking around the airport with their dogs? And not just little ones, I've seen larger dogs that are more than would ever fit under the seat. When did this become OK? I realize we are all attached to our pets, but in the end, these are animals and as such are unpredictable. They can bite, scratch, soil, or any other possible things that animals do. And what if one of the other travelers are allergic? Why should the rest of the plane be subject to an individual's pet in tight quarters?

Runway torch bearers:
On a recent flight, the plane came in early and we were parked waiting for the gate to open up. I was watching the pushing back process. Lots of us have seen it, a little buggy attached at the front wheels shoves the plane away from the gate. Ever notice the two 'attendants' that go along with this process? Two people in bright colored vests holding up an equally bright piece of plastic. What is the point of this? Are they worried some will run into the plane? Is someone going to miss the giant airplane on the tarmac but somehow notice these two?

Automated fixture roulette:
Almost every time I get off a plane, I visit the restroom. Mostly because airplane bathrooms are nasty and I avoid them whenever possible. Have you ever noticed the game of a chance that occurs in every bathroom? It seems that at best only half of the automated soap dispensers, faucets, toilets, paper towel dispensers, and hand dryers work, and I always choose the faulty ones first.

The Big Push:
Rented a car lately. Boy do they put the screws to you. Pre-buy gas you'll never (and can't possibly) use...never mind that the only way to get the full use of this is to run tank dry. BUY INSURANCE!!! No, I carry auto insurance and my credit card picks up some insurance too. Who pays an extra 20 bucks a day for this? And what's with all the taxes? My rental price practically doubled by the time the taxes were figured in. Just include it in the quoted price!

I know this was a long one...now it's your turn, let's hear some of your travel stories.